A Concept of Mind
by Kisu Pure
Summary: "Second-stage drift?" "It was always a theoretical possibility, but Lightcap... wrote it off early on as being the stuff of science-fiction..." Two queer, OC rangers piloting an OC Jaeger get thrashed in a brawl. Jaeger-on-pilot action set in a sci-fi playground of consciousness gone awry. Warnings inside.
1. Slugfist

_Yeah so I don't really give a shit if this story is to anyone else's liking. It's a fun experiment and not meant to be that long, maybe 15k when it's done. Enjoy, maybe!_

* * *

_Right hook._

_Uppercut._

_Strafe._

_Block-_

BOOM.

The conn-pod shook wildly as the kaiju dubbed "Slugfist" lived up to its name, landing a hard one with two of its four hittin' arms simultaneously.

"Son of a..!" Jackson shouted, righting himself from the awkward position he was thrown in the primary control unit.

Teagan grit zir teeth and did the same. "We're gonna get our ass kicked if we don't pull out the caster soon!"

_We need to corner it first, _Jackson thought.

_Let's bring it in for a nice, big hug, then, _his co-pilot thought in return, reaching forward for the console to prep the generator.

Sierra Dynamo, Sacramento's mark 4 Jaeger was, when cleaned up, a beauty, and the pride of California. A smaller, lighter Jaeger, it was speedy, but not nearly as fast as the mark 5's were projected to be. Sierra came in at just under 70 meters tall, just over 1800 tons, and had exactly two supercell cores.

Slugfist let out a hideous, roaring trill, sounding something like 100 car accidents happening all at once. It beat its chest with two of its oversized arms, stubby tail swishing around in anticipation of a kill.

_Not today, _both pilots thought in unison.

Speech wasn't necessary between two drifting pilots, but sometimes it couldn't be helped. "Come on… come on…" Jackson hissed as they crouched down low, arms wide, like a goalie poised to spring on an oncoming ball.

Slugfist was sizing them up, waiting for them to strike, but after a moment of pacing, took the initiative. It leapt forward, all four arms out, and Sierra was knocked to the ground.

"Now! Now!" Teagan yelled, struggling against gravity and the impact of the kaiju's continuous blows. "Initiate live nodes! Let's light this fucker up!"

Sierra seized the kaiju atop it in a fierce hold, and Slugfist began to struggle. They were outnumbered by two sets of arms and had precious few seconds.

"_Initiated. Nodes hot in 3… 2…"_

A chunk of armor was torn off Sierra's arm and Slugfist began to thrash wildly.

Sierra was the only Jaeger to have been produced with two cores, and for one reason only.

"_...1._"

A hum, loud enough to be heard over the cries of the kaiju rose quickly up from nothing, and then a near-deafening crack accompanied by a noise low enough to be felt rather than heard. It ripped through the both of them and the giant screamed, jerking uncontrollably. Dozens of tungsten-alloy needles had struck out from Sierra's arms and chest, each hot with 500 megavolts worth of electricity.

Slugfist was just struck by lightning.

"Plasma caster!" Jackson ordered the computer. Now was their chance.

But the kaiju wasn't going to give up so easily. It flew into a rage, tearing into Sierra, throwing it down into the sand of the Kiribatan beach that had become their battlegrounds over the past half hour.

Plasma casters took about 15 seconds to charge once deployed, and it wasn't looking like Slugfist was going to give them that long.

"Shit, shit…"

Sparks flew from somewhere in the conn-pod, showering over Teagan as they were hit again. The kaiju tore a few nodes from the Jaeger's chest, sending them flying. But then it noticed the charging cannon, and suddenly all of its attention was focused on it.

Teagan tried all that ze could to get out from under the kaiju, but it was no use. Jackson tried keeping their most important weapon away from the monster's grip, and Teagan used the Jaeger's free left arm to deliver concussive blows that zie was hoping would finish what the electric shock started.

Slugfist found that by keeping one foot on Sierra's chest and another on the cannon arm, it had free reign to do whatever it wanted to the Jaeger with all four of its arms.

The two pilots inside paused, thoughts hitching for a moment as they realized the predicament they were suddenly in. Slugfist would have been their first solo kill.

It's a spooky experience, being in the drift and having nary a thought cross either mind; only the mingling of astonishment and fear. Teagan would remember that moment for the rest of zir life.

But it ended quickly. The kaiju started pumelling the conn-pod, throwing both of the pilots around, still attached to their controls. They suddenly felt like they were being whipped around like flags in a storm or victims on stretching racks. Teagan couldn't have imagined that it was Jackson who would get injured first out of the two of them; ze called out when he was thrown from his anchoring, feet still attached to their step-drives. Ze watched in horror as Jackson cried out agony at the snapping of his ankles as he fell backward, but quickly fell silent as his head collided with the conn-pod floor.

Warning lights flashed as ze was ripped from the drift and the neural handshake broken. Light, noise, and pain suddenly filled zir head as ze was suddenly faced with carrying the full weight of the Jaeger alone. Teagan's helmet echoed the voices of those at the command center in the Los Angeles shatterdome so far away; it was a struggle just to hear them.

"Teagan! We're sending you backup! Your handshake's been cut!"

Zir entire body was on fire, tears welling up in zir eyes as ze mustered up one last burst of energy before unconsciousness would due to take over, just as it had for Jackson.

"Shiv!" ze cried out hoarsely.

A blade, something between a knife and a sword, shot out from the outside of Sierra's free left wrist. Teagan had lost control of most of the Jaeger's body, but the fight wasn't over so long as ze could still use Sierra's arm.

"RRAGH!"

The co-pilot tore into the kaiju's side with the knife, hacking off two of the beast's arms and sending it stumbling backwards and into the squat bluff beside them. Kaiju blue spattered the beach.

Things started to fade for Teagan, and ze fell limp as a crippling headache seared through zir skull.

"Sierra, Sierra," crackled the radio in zir helmet. "Hang in there Sierra. Mammoth Apostle is inbound…"

_Jackson…._

Blackness.


	2. Torn

Teagan woke up in a mobile medical unit set up on the island, attended to by no fewer than 3 PPDC doctors. Ze was shaking from a cold that emanated from the inside out.

"They're awake," sighed one of them with relief.

Ze mustered a scowl. "'Ze' pronouns, please," Teagan muttered hoarsely, sitting up despite the pain in zir head. "Where's Jackson?"

The doctor nearest to zir swallowed. "He's been taken back to the shatterdome," she said solemnly. The shatterdome? But Kiribati was almost 8 hours away from the nearest of them. If they could treat zir in a mobile unit, surely they could have for him too?

"And you didn't take me with him? Dammit," Teagan hissed. "It's been, what, 6 years since the start of the Jaeger program and you still don't understand how important it is for us to stick together?"

Ze shuddered and eyes burned as ze remembered the moments before Jackson, zir friend of 10 years, had gone out like a light. Ze'd felt his anklebones snap, felt terror set fire to his mind. Ze saw his life flash before his eyes. Half of Teagan's brain felt like aching static.

"Mr. Rosenthal, we get it. Trust us, we get it almost as much as you do. But you have to believe us when we say that this is a unique situation and we think-"

Teagan bristled. "Unique situation?"

"Jackson Finch is in a coma, Teagan." Zir heart sank, and ze swallowed. "We don't know how the drift will impact his ability to wake up, so we're keeping you apart for now. You and Sierra Dynamo will be temporarily relocated to Anchorage while we get a grip on what's going on in his brain."

Teagan struggled to think. "You have to let me see him," ze plead. "Maybe I could reach him through the drift, and-"

"No," the doctor said firmly. "We're maintaining distance between you two until we can understand more about what this condition means for him… and what it could possibly mean for you too."

"This isn't fair!" ze shouted, tears spilling down zir cheeks. "This isn't fucking fair."

"War's not fair, Mr. Rosenthal." Teagan turned toward the opening of the tent, and met the gaze of one Marshal Pentecost. Ze sat up straight in zir cot and saluted despite feeling like shit. The man, after all, was a legend.

He nodded at the medical personnel and they excused themselves, leaving the two Jaeger pilots alone.

"You know this is going to be a rare opportunity for us to further study the impact that drifting has on the human mind, " he said, taking a seat. Something in his voice was soothing and ze found zirself calmed even though his words weren't exactly reassuring.

"I know, sir," ze whispered.

"Mr. Finch is the first ranger to fall into a coma. We're going to do everything we can for him, but is doing a lot for us as well right now."

"I hate feeling helpless, sir."

"Give us two weeks with him and we'll ship you back to Los Angeles. Just two weeks. You have my word, alright?"

Ze nodded, staring at his immaculately polished dress shoes. He didn't just look the part of marshal, he felt like it too; ze found his presence filling the room. Ze could only imagine what he was like back when he was a pilot, too.

"Sierra will be shipping with you, so hang tight until then." Pentecost rose again, heading silently for the tent flap, but paused. "Oh, and do as the doctors say and take a rest. They do know what they're talking about." He gave zir a wink and left. There were shouts outside, but ze didn't really hear them.

Teagan looked around. The makeshift medical facility, airlifted in, was impressively stocked. Crates on the floor were filled with the basics: bandages, gauze, antiseptic. But there were other, more dubious equipment to be found in some of the others. Geiger counters, syringes. A series of "jaws of life" hydraulic rescue tools sat on the floor in the corner. They were stained a deep blue. Dings and scratches told zir that they'd seen a lot of action as well, prying bodies out of deactivated Jaegers.

Ze shuddered, thinking about how Jackson was halfway towards being a corpse himself.

Jackson Finch was Sierra's primary pilot, and in his 3rd year with PPDC. He was a young man of 27, a good hand taller than Teagan and could bench-press almost twice as much as zir, but was lean. They met in high school, when the both of them were on the track team. They found themselves at many of the same parties, with many of the same interests, and soon became inseparable friends. There was a drunk kiss once, but that was about it. Drifting with someone had a tendency to tie up your loose ends real quick. In fact, that was how Jackson found out ze was trans and had been taking blockers since shortly after puberty. And Teagan found out he was a little bi and had an interest in "cute" boys. But they'd made the decision early on not to get involved like that again (Teagan didn't care for romance much anyways), and to keep themselves away from any related thoughts while drifting.

In short, Jackson was the one to encourage Teagan to come out while at PPDC, and somehow that brought them even closer than a neural handshake could. Now, all of zir documents could be found marked with an X instead of an M. But that's besides the point.

Teagan suddenly found zirself getting claustrophobic inside the tent. Ze threw off the blankets and stepped outside, shielding zir sensitive eyes from the bright, flaming sunset.

The beach was a complete wreck, Teagan noted. High tide had come in to wash most of their mess away, but ze could still follow where the fight had taken them out of the water and onto the shore. Entire groves of coconut trees had been flattened, and about 100 yards away, ze could clearly make out the dark bowl in the dirt where Slugfist had caught Sierra on its back, determined to pound it into tinfoil. It looked like a tornado had touched down on just that spot.

The ranger turned away from the gruesome landscape and faced back toward the sun, toward the Jaeger. Teagan began the plod over to the gargantuan machine almost as a reflex.

Ze didn't know when, exactly, Mammoth Apostle had come to their rescue, or what condition their Jaeger was in when Slugfist was torn off them. Mammoth was on standby on a neighboring island, though, so the response was, thankfully, quick.

Teagan walked past a clean-up crew as they mopped up the remnants of the blue mess behind bright yellow tape marked with biohazard symbols. Ze stopped short of a group standing with the marshal, surveying zir machine.

Sierra was covered in enormous dents, and had a number of pieces of plating ripped off. Miraculously, the conn-pod didn't look any worse for wear than the rest of the body, and was definitely salvageable, though ze imagined that the right forearm would need to be completely rebuilt.

The Jaeger was top-heavy, like all Jaegers tend to be, with a wide, bulky chest to contain the dual-cell core system. The conn-pod, zie'd heard through the grapevine, would be the model for Australia's mark 5 Jaeger that was currently in development. It had a lupine look to it, ze'd always thought, though Jackson maintained such was a hilarious association to make. "It looks like a robot," he would always retort with a charming dismissiveness.

"I thought we'd told you to stay put, Mr. Rosenthal?"

Teagan started at Pentecost's voice.

"I… I needed some fresh air, sir."

He stepped over to zir and they looked at the Jaeger together. "You know," he began. "You technically piloted solo today."

Teagan's dark brows flew up. "What?" ze blurted out. "No way. I just had the left arm for a few minutes is all."

"Still."

That was all he said about it.

Off in the distance came the flickering growl of a helicopter approaching, and Marshal Pentecost, accompanied by a few others, headed for it. He gave zir shoulder a firm pat as he walked past.

"Two weeks," he shouted as the aircraft came in closer, whipping around hair, clothes, and sand alike. "See you in Alaska!"

Ze watched them take off from a safe distance, letting zir shoulders droop when they were up and away. "See you," Teagan murmured, turning back toward Sierra. Ze wasn't sure what else to do.

The young pilot climbed the hill of sand piled up against the Jaeger's arm from when it was dragged from where it'd been taken down by Slugfist. It was laying on its back, adjacent to the beach, with its legs extending down into the water. It looked very much like a beached whale in the dying light. Ze watched the crews finish up their shifts under the gaudy brightness of floodlights, putting up one of what would be many signs in the sand declaring the beach too toxic for boats to come ashore, as though the rotting carcass a mile inland wouldn't be enough of a deterrent for years to come. At the top of the sign was the all-too-familiar logo of the mutant crab claw, the universal symbol for "kaiju".

I miss you, Jax, ze thought, letting zir head fall back and rest against the cold metal.

There was no reply.


End file.
